Assuming each Magento instance caps out their memory allocation of 4GB, then you might want your php.ini file to be set at 20GB. But that’s probably worst case scenario. Experiment and tweak where necessary. So, I guess just start with the full 16GB.
I haven’t really seen any performance gains after setting php_memory limit greater than 4GB per installation (.htaccess)
As above
Having said all of that, tweaking Web Server Configuration Variables is never a “set and forget” exercise. Ideally, performance should be monitored and tweaked accordingly. So, your mileage may vary compared to my experiences.